Altruism Isn’t The Goal

We not only need to give, we also need to receive. Somehow, somewhere, I began believing the lie that since friendships weren’t altruistic, they shouldn’t take priority in my life. I believed the lie that life needed to be all about volunteering, serving, mentoring, counseling. In my desire to be a helper, I stopped showing…

Brave Enough to Enjoy

I stood alone on a heavily trafficked side street in Prague. I missed my family; I had not yet met up with my Czech friends, and I was emotionally struggling in this beloved city. Having visited Prague a dozen times, it was practically a second home, but the loneliness, that feeling was new to me….

No Unsabbathed Life

We expect hard work in our house. Early in our marriage, my husband went 5 years without taking a vacation for a variety of reasons. After five years of no time to slow down, no time to assess, no time to renew, we had some very serious talks about changing our rhythms. By the end…

Christmas Cactus

The Christmas Cactus A small and powerful reminder that there is still hope and growth in the cold, dark seasons, just as there is in the warm, bright seasons. I guess it makes perfect sense that it blooms at Christmas time. A time when we remember: In the soft infant skin, in the wonder-filled infant…

Treasures Among Trash

 If there was a collective attribute given to 2020, I believe it would be something like disappointing, unpleasant, grueling. Hopes set in 2019 dissipated, goals became unachievable, dreams faded as weariness set in..  All the plans we laid out were run over like a soccer ball on an interstate.  “Mask up”, “In this together”, “Six Feet Apart” and “Ability…

Armed With a Playlist

As the bread ran low and our fruit drawer held a solitary lemon, I knew the time had come. The store is in my sights and I wonder if needing a musical distraction makes me weak.  Is it fighting or hiding?  Is it brave or pathetic?  The thoughts turn in my mind as I turn…

Perspective

The clouds of COVID have been my teachers lately. Every afternoon, in the typical Colorado-spring fashion, cumulous begin to form.  Wisps turn into billows, white turns to dark gray.  I see them creeping over the Rockies and warn my kids, “20 minutes until we need to go inside”. Cumulonimbus are soon at my front door….

Another

I search my playlist for something upbeat.  I need something to transcend the monotony of the daily routine.  I scan for a soundtrack to imitate the spices I am adding to my potatoes. “This Kitchen is for Dancing”.  The sign hangs over my head. I haven’t felt like dancing much lately.  Too much routine, too…

A Most Important Fight

The life journey mothers and daughters have, in all the ups and downs, is full of important memories and lessons.  For me, these became even more valuable the day my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.  While the old memories were sweet,  I was bound and determined to also make amazing new ones, and make…

Sleepless Nights

I see your faces in my dreams.  I hear the gun shots and feel the screams.  I choke on the dirt kicked up in a panic as you calculate whether to say in line or run for cover.  You are wept for as I sleep.  Ripped away from home, wooed by lies, imprisoned by violence….